| Here she stands alone again... |
[Thursday, Nov 26th, 2009 @ 10:04am] |
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music |
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True Colors - Glee cast/ Cyndi Lauper |
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I'm sitting at my desk with a cup of VERY strong coffee and pondering on what I want to write about. I have World of Warcraft running in the background, trying to decide what I'd like to do in game while doing massive amounts of laundry.
I realize that I've had this journal since December of 2001 and for a LONG time it was an outlet for my thoughts, feelings, desires, depression & anxiety, and many other things. I really should start it again... make it a point to post regardless of the topic or how dull my day was (ie, playing World of Warcraft for 2/3rds of it).
It's Thanksgiving and I'm "stuck" in Alabama, four hours away from family and friends I've spent this holiday with for 23 years previous to this one. Last year I was with Eric's Dad's family, as awkward as that was. I believe, because I've blocked a lot of "Arkansas memories," that we went to my father's or mother's after that excursion. >.<
Eric's family member: "Well who is this lovely lady?"
Jess: *blushes and is speechless*
Eric's Dad: *quiet as well"
Eric: *clears throat* My good friend, Jess.
Jess: *internally cringes and sighs; outwardly smiles and extends hand* Nice to meet you.
Yes, it was VERY awkward because I was going to Thanksgiving lunch with my EX-boyfriend's family because I refused to be with MY family... *sighs* Even though I was with Joel (my current boyfriend) at the time, I wasn't able to be with him. I had previously spent a week and a half in Alabama with him previous to Thanksgiving, but came home a day before the holiday.
And come December 29th, I'll have been living here for a whole year without getting to go BACK to Arkansas to see any of my friends and family. My Mum came to visit this summer for my birthday, but it was heartbreaking to see her leave. She's as much my world as I am hers... sometimes I believe the mother/daughter roles are reversed, especially when she's really depressed and I'm the one taking care of her. But a discussion of my mother and her current state of mind needs to be dedicated to another post because of the length that would incur. Heh.
As for today:
I woke up right before seven, like I have been the two days previously. It's really aggravating, because I'll get to bed right around the time Joel leaves for work and then wake up as he's nearly walking back through the door. And while that may seem pretty convenient, it's really not. We're keeping Jonathan right now, Joel's 5yr old son, for the holidays and since Joel works third shift, it's my responsibility to watch him during "normal people hours." When we don't have Jonathan, I'm my usual Night Owl self: sleeping during the day with Joel and staying up all night while he's at work. (I'm not quite fond of being away from him for some reason, even when he's at work... it's weird. It's an emotion I've never experienced, yet he assures me I'm not clingy.)
I was still rolling my first cig of the day when he gets home and throws five packages of coffee he snagged from work.
Jess: *stares at the coffee, looks at Joel, looks back down to the coffee, then back at Joel and smiles a big grin* Holy shit! Coffee! Yay!
Joel: *looks perplexed* If I'd known I was going to get that sort of reaction out of you about coffee, I would have snagged some before today!
Jess: *a little more mellow* I like coffee... a lot. :)
So, he started brewing it for me while I finished my cig. And when the coffee was finished and I was fixing my first cup, he set up the laptop so we could watch last night's episode of Glee like we have done the last couple of Thursday mornings. He's not a "Gleek" like I am, but he still enjoys the music the perform.
Glee's episode was very good this week. They performed John Lennon's Imagine. It was beautiful, not my favorite rendition, but it was still beautiful. The harmonies were great. I'm just sad that the show is taking a several month hiatus for American Idol. >.< Oh well, it's so popular that when April comes around, the viewers will not have known it was gone for so long... I hope. Heh.
Well, Nancy (Joel's mother and the bane of my existence in Alabama) just called to tell me she was picking Jonathan up. That's great, I'll get some time to clean with no interruption but I told her to have him back between 5 and 530, in time for our (Joel, Jonathan and myself) Thanksgiving thing before the family stuff tomorrow. She didn't seem too keen on it, but you know what? He's not her son, he's her GRANDson, and when Joel lays down the restrictions, she better adhere to them (which she never does, then calls us bad parents... also a whole other post will more than likely be dedicated to this subject as well).
So now I'm going to go get him ready to leave and start another load of laundry because the one in the washer is done. :)
Happy Thanksgiving, LJ-ers. Hope it's great.
Tell me what you're thankful for ...?
This year it's a small list but still important... I'm thankful for Joel, his son, Jonathan, my mother, my bestfriend/sister, Stacy... I'm thankful I have a job when a lot of people don't. I'm thankful we have a roof over our head and food in the fridge, even thought it may not be much, it's still there. I'm thankful for the few friends I do have in Alabama that make my stay here a little more bearable. And I'm thankful that I'm still alive and well, despite the things I've been through in the past. :)
Happy Thanksgiving again, folks. I hope the turkey is good and you nap well because of it. XD
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| Dearest Friend's, e-stalkers, and new comers: |
[Thursday, Oct 15th, 2009 @ 1:28pm] |
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Disclaimer: This journal is used as an actual journal. I'm too lazy and forgetful to keep a paper journal, and I'm not really self-conscious about my life. And if something comes up that's personal, I'll either make it a "me only" post or be terribly cryptic. So much that only I can understand it. :D
Basically, my posts are long and detailed.
If you read them all, then you're more knowledgeable, if you don't, then you're not one to play a game of "What's going on with Jess?" Understand? I'm sorry that they are lengthy, but I like detail.
Also, I'm opininated. I'm open-minded. I'm crude. I'm not the kind to keep my mouth shut. I don't think before I speak. I praise others quickly and openly. I love constantly. I trust hard. I tell it like it is.
Above all: This is my journal. Don't get offended by something I write unless it's directed specifically at you.
Enjoy, all.
Thank you,
Jess, Truth, J-Woo, pHone Girl, Woo-Woo, Wooten, Little One...(whatever else many may know me as here.)
Have a nice day. :D
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| The Dojo. |
[Thursday, Sep 24th, 2009 @ 8:30am] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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the thoughts in mah head |
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As I told LeeAnn, I'm posting the beginning of my WoW-fic I've been working on for almost a year now. It's divided up into many different sections, and this is the first section of the first chapter... I think. Needless to say, I'm still working on it.
This isn't the cleaned up version for I haven't typed that up yet.
Enjoy! &hearts
( Read more... )
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| Evil Angel... or am I? |
[Friday, Aug 7th, 2009 @ 3:28am] |
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mood |
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headachy |
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music |
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Katie - Missy Higgins |
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I really should be asleep. But... I got caught up in-game for three hours with my guildleader... doing odd jobs for him. I swear... I really am a doormat sometimes, even in a fantasy game.
Joel has been sick with an ear infection. We got him medicine today... FINALLY. I wonder if it was my poking and prodding to go the doctor that did it? Probably. I can be annoying like that. Is it a crime that I like him healthy and not whiny? :P
I have been suffering as well, but for another, more "natural" reason. But I guess since my body is not used to dealing with this... it's not so natural for me. :) I'm just now getting over it, so being awake is not a bad thing. I've actually made it out of bed and actually gotten dressed today. XD Well, we did have to go and get Joel's medicine. :P
Jon's Parent Night was tonight. It was... fun. More weird, on my part. His teacher pointed at Joel and I and asked if it was "our" child. *clears throat* Yeah, see, this is where the situation gets sticky. I'm with Jon more than his biological mother. No, I'm not his mother. I'm not even his step-mother. But I do consider myself one of his parents, just as Joel does. But to save face later, he introduced himself as the father and me as his girlfriend. :) Oh! And Nancy went with us. >.< That woman... I want to strangle her.
Nancy is Joel's mother. And she's the reason why I love my mother more and more everyday, you know, besides the fact that she's awesome in every way imaginable. :) She's such a burden on our lives. She doesn't have one helpful bone in her body that doesn't come with a price. She can't just help and let us "pay her back" in ways we're capable of instead of expecting stuff. That's one of my pet peeves, when people expect something in return. If I have the time or the money, and someone needs either of those, I give it freely and if they decide to reciprocate, then that's awesome, if not... then "Oh well." It's not a big deal, but THIS WOMAN... *grumbles*... She feels that Joel and I are not good parents. She's trying to dictate how Joel raises him and what hand I have in the process. She had the nerve to tell me that I'm an glorified babysitter and that I need to not worry myself with this school stuff... just let her and Joel take care of it. I held my tongue, surprisingly enough, told Joel and let him deal with her from there. I've resigned myself to waiting for the perfect moment I can tell his woman to "hit the road and don't let the door hit you on the way out, bitch." But timing is the most important thing, I'm told. *winks*
Anyway, back on track... she went with us tonight, BUT! She asked before she assumed she could just join along. She didn't try to take the packet of papers from me when the teacher gave them to ME. And she didn't bitch or "offer advice" tonight, but a lot of her mellowness might have something to do with Joel being sick. So, I'm not putting all my eggs in that basket, if you know what I mean. Once he gets better, I'm sure she'll start in with it again. She keeps trying to tell us that we need to make Jon's lunches for him. I don't see the point in that if he enjoys the food. If he hated it or it made him sick, then yes, I would make him lunches everyday, but honestly? It saves on our groceries a little. And I like that. :)
I need to hit the hay. I've got work the next couple of days. Oh joy. I need a better job. I'm thinking of asking the school district about making me a substitute. *trembles* This should be interesting.
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| I was lost, I was found... |
[Tuesday, Aug 4th, 2009 @ 3:43am] |
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mood |
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antsy |
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music |
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Sorrow - Bad Religion |
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There's something wrong, but I can't put my finger on it.
I've been antsy all day.
First I feel I can't find something to do, then there's cleaning and I get distracted by something else. Then I come back to the restless feeling again. I've sat down at my computer, gotten up, sat down, gotten up and sat down again more times than I can keep count.
I can't get my mind to stop flashing like rolling through the channels on a television.
So... about an hour ago I straightened up the living room. Except! There's a mattress in the middle of the floor, so I cleaned around it.
About five minutes ago, I decided I was going to pop in a DVD of Veronica Mars and attempt to pencil out the thoughts in mah head. We'll see how that goes in about five more minutes.
This restlessness is absolutely exhausting.
I think it's Cabin Fever.
Actually, I guarantee it's Cabin Fever.
But there's nothing I can really do about it. Haven't been outside since Saturday Night when I was brought home from work by Clint. And I don't see myself going outside before Thursday evening when Joel and I go to Parent's Night at Jon's school.
Which reminds me, I wonder when his Mum is bringing him back. Hmmm. I guess I'll have to ask Joel that when he gets off work if I'm still awake @ 7. Which I REALLY hope I'm not.
Free flowing thought is amazing, but very disheveled, in my opinion.
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| I could really go for a cup of coffee and an overdose. :) |
[Monday, Aug 3rd, 2009 @ 4:29am] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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Cup of Coffee - Katy Perry |
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The last time I posted was on October 7, 2008.
The last time I posted I was dating someone named Brian that didn't last very long due to distance (he lives in San Antonio, Texas) but I do find I still love him. :)
The time before that, the post was in April of 2008.
When I posted that I was still with Eric living in Brookland with his Mum and our four cats. We were in a bad spot and it wasn't until the move BACK to Jonesboro that we realized that we were more roommates with benefits and moved on... hence me dating someone else in October 2008.
It's now August 2009 and I'm dating and living with a wonderful man named Joel. He has a five-year-old son named Jonathan (Jon), who he's currently working on getting full custody of... Yes, in the simplest way possible, I'm a parent. And that scares the shit out of me, but that's for another time. We live in Decatur, Alabama where we have no pets, unfortunately, but I'm working on trying to convince Joel of a cat, turtle, and frog. We'll see how this goes in the future. :P I'm not currently in school, another unfortunate circumstance of moving, but I'm working diligently to get in good standing with the local community college... for a degree in what? I still have no idea. I've been in college since August 2003 and I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.
The choices at the moment are:
1. History teacher
2. Digital Media
3. something in Forensics
4. Business Administrator
It really blows when you have too many interests and not enough pull in any of them to make a decision. :/
I'm working at Papa John's as an insider, again... except it's in another state, thank goodness. :) Joel works at a hotel as a third shift auditor. We're constantly under the scrutiny of his mother, who thinks we're not good parents. I think that's absolute bullshit, but what do I know? I am not the child's biological mother. >.<
As a couple, we play World of Warcraft, Magic the Gathering with his brother and a few friends, and on Friday Nights, we meet up with another couple for Dungeons and Dragons. :) We're the perfect nerd couple, in my opinion. :P I still sing. I still write, when my muse is present and not stuck behind the writer's block wall. I've discovered new "powers" within the last couple of years and I'm sure I'll get to a post about that at sometime in the future.
I have no idea what has prompted me to write in my LJ again, but it seems like home here, and the couches are still in the lounge so it's comfy. :P
Within the immediate: Jonathan is staying with his Mum for the next couple of days. It's the last time she can keep him for any length of time before he starts Kindergarten on the 10th. So, Joel and I have been enjoying the quiet. As much as two ill adults can. :P He's suffering from Swimmer's Ear, and we're doing everything in our power to cure it without having to see a doctor. And I'm suffering from the monthly curse, that! surprisingly enough showed up two months in a row. My Mum believes that I'm doing something healthy and my body is finally getting somewhere close to normal, but I haven't the heart to tell her that nothing has changed except the scenery. (It's nice not being bitched at for once.) Thursday is a meet and greet with Jon's teachers at his school, so that will be fun. *stressed look*
It's almost five in the morning, and I'm pretty close to wide awake, so I figure I'll stalk around on the internet for a little while longer before Joel gets home. Maybe then I'll be tired enough to sleep.
It's good to be back home.
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| *a blast of pink smoke and Jess appears; the crowd sucks in a deep breathe* |
[Wednesday, Apr 23rd, 2008 @ 12:27pm] |
Yes, it's amazing, I know. XD XD *bows*
Seriously, though. I'm not dead, though I'm sure there are many that wish that ill-fate towards me. I've been... well, busy. I would have pulled all my hair out by now if it weren't for the fact that I don't think I'd look good bald. Heh.
School is a cluster-fuck.
Work is driving me batty.
Homelife is so horribly stressful I don't know if its worth it to deal with it much long.
But! I have good news. And no, I did NOT save money by switching my car insurance to Geiko... I don't even have a car! LOL!
No, Sara and I are taking a little vacation right after finals. We're taking a roadtrip. First to Maryland, then up to New York, then farther north to Salem, Mass (yes, yes, I know) and then we're driving as far west as we can before we have to come back home.
We're moving out of the house in Brookland and back into the apartment complex Eric and I started out in. Heh. How ironic, I know.
There's so much more I can/would/won't say, but that'll come a time when I can tie myself to this apparatus and do it.
Live long and prosper, I suppose.
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| Two months. |
[Thursday, Mar 13th, 2008 @ 3:10am] |
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mood |
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 vexed |
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music |
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Hinder - How Long |
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Well, more like a little over two months... but who's counting, right? Sure as hell not me, otherwise I would have done a "Hey! I'm still alive!" post once, maybe twice in the time off I took.
Let's see. Noteworthy things that happened... *hand under chin, in deep thought* OH!
*giggles* Her being there made me a very happy mage. Even though I've put down the mage for a while to work on my warrior, I'm still proud of my little clothie. XD
( But on a more unhappy WoW note... )
I'll finish this story at a later date when my internet isn't being a bitch and it's not 430 in the morning. XD
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| Welcome, 2008. |
[Tuesday, Jan 8th, 2008 @ 11:40am] |
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music |
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KAIT 8 in the background... STORMZ!!! |
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It's 2008, and I'm still alive. Wow. I'm really impressed. :P
This year has been hell. What am I saying, the past couple of years have been hell.
January 2007: I got divorced on the 2nd. Nanny was still in the hospital.
February 2007: Nanny passed away on the 8th.
March and April 2007: Was in school, working at Papa Johns.
May 2007: I quit Papa John's when the timing belt broke on Eric's car and he and Joey spent from 6pm until 2am working on getting it fixed. Eric and I started playing WOW with Amy and Eli.
June 2007: Eric celebrated his 22nd birthday with Noah who celebrated his 3rd birthday.
July 2007: I celebrated my 22nd birthday. Had a fight with Jon about the remainder of the money he owned me for our divorce. But I got my money, nonetheless.
During the summer, I spent nearly every night at IHOP with Tommy and Jo and a frequent cast of regular folks. At the beginning of the summer, Eric's Mom moved in with us making the total number of adults to four and the total number of pets to four.
August: Started school. Forensic Entomology and Computer Forensics. Also got to have my first online class: Tech Writing.
September: Started back at Auntie Anne's after being away for two and a half years and a couple of months of unemployment.
October: Stacy moved out and Mom told Eric, Sandy and myself to move out. We found our house in Brookland and moved in in the middle of the month.
November: At the end of the month I started working at WalMart as a cashier.
December: Eric and I celebrated our two year anniversary a week before Christmas. XD
I still play WOW. I'm still working at WalMart fixing to transfer departments and work in Automotive. I'm on the emergency list at Auntie Anne's. And I'm fixing to start the Spring semester at ASU as a Criminology major with a minor in Information Technology.
And we also have a new addition to the family: her name is Paz (named after the first bassist of A Perfect Circle and its short for Spaz) and she was a stray. So, we have Cowboy, Asparagus, Duck, and Paz. XD We are cat people, what can I say?
I sincerely hope this year is much better than last.
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| EPICLOLZ... *giggles* |
[Saturday, Nov 24th, 2007 @ 2:46am] |
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mood |
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 Need to pee. XD |
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music |
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Bleach season three theme song. XD XD |
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XD I love this thing. It'll never expire and I can always come back and read my old entries to see how much of a newb I really was.
Eric's been calling me a dork a lot lately. I wonder why. *places fingers on chin and cocks head up to the ceiling, looking for the answer there* OH YEAH! I know why... I'm hopelessly obsessed with the anime Bleach and playing too much World of Warcraft. I'm reading a Science Fiction book right now, as well as listening to too much J-pop. Yeah, I'm a big o' dork. *sighs and smiles* But would you love me otherwise? (I ask that of my friends, to which most reply, "No.")
Currently, its very late. But after the Black Friday from hell, I don't give a shit.
Let's see. I'll start from this week.
Monday: Orientation at Walmart from 8AM until 530PM. Yes, children, I have sold my soul to the corporation. If my soul was even intact.. Hmm. That's a very interesting concept, but I think it there when I put in my application, went through my interview, and signed over my life to Wally World.
Tuesday: I did CBLs (Computer Based Learning for you newbs) from 930AM until 130PM. Nothing too strenuous at all. But I did fall asleep several times. LOL!
Wednesday: Eric and I had the day off together, so we hung out. Went over to my Dad's late afternoon and ate dinner over there.
Thursday: Turkey Day for the US around here. Went to Dad's, then to Barry's to collect Mom, then back to Dad's.. I went to bed around 730PMish to prep myself for today.
Black Friday: Worked at Auntie Anne's 5AM until 8AM, came home and watched a few episodes of Bleach before going back to sleep, woke up around 4PM against my will (bladder and my house was freezing), met Eric for dinner at Hong Kong, did CBLs from 630PM until midnight at Walmart. *eyeroll*
And now I'm here. Played on WOW for a little while. Watched the episode of Bleach I missed tonight and am considering going to bed after a cigarette with Goose. XD
So, lets review: Jess has two jorbs (Auntie Anne's and Walmart), reads too much, listens to too much music, plays too much WOW, and watches too much Bleach. Yeah, that about sums up my life. XD Oh yeah, and she loves Eric profusely and is almost done with this semester of school.
Life is stressful, but I love it for now. *winks*
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| *facepalm* |
[Wednesday, Oct 10th, 2007 @ 8:15am] |
This morning has started out rough.
But first, a little about yesterday: Thanks you two for the good luck wishes! I really appreciate it. The test was amazingly easy, lets just hope that I got a good grade on it. *crosses fingers* When I got home I played WOW with a friend I hadn't seen in a few days. At first, I just got a note in my mailbox asking when I was going to be playing next (I'd been playing on a different server with my guild) and a "I really miss you" tagged at the end of the email. *slight blush* I KNEW I should have sent him a note telling him that I was playing on the other server. *facepalm !again*
I worked on the kitchen off and on. And then Stacy came over to do laundry. Since we're not getting a shit ton of groceries this week because of our move this weekend (or any groceries that aren't already in the house) Stacy and I went over to Hay's to get something for dinner. I swear to *enter random deity here* we spent ten minutes staring at each frozen food door trying to figure something out for dinner. It was pathetic, to say the least.
I got back on WOW for a little while, but then my computer decided to funk out on me, so I took that as my cue to work on my reference page for Applied Statistics. I have a quiz this morning. (Again, anyone/everyone wish me luck again.) XD Watch Courage the Cowardly Dog, Naruto, listened to Futurama and Family Guy, watched a little of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and by the time that Bleach came on, I was finished and could enjoy the show. ^^
Now this morning. Yeah, as I was pulling up to the stop sign and Cherry Street and Gee Street to pull out to Gee Street I was almost run over by a city truck. But I didn't get a license plate or anything so I can't tell on him. But I shook that off and kept going, as I was driving in front of Presley's Drive-In and the former Hyundai dealership this old, beat-up ambulance runs into this Ford truck. I stop in the middle of street (yes, this is the first time I've witnessed an accident I wasn't in) and sat there trying to figure out what I needed to do, but the person that had pulled up behind me pulled over to them and I was free to go, I suppose. I called Eric and told him what happened, to which he informed me that I was supposed to have stopped and filled out a witness sheet for the police. But since I was on my way to school, it wasn't necessary that I go back. I guess that's good. :?
Now it is almost time for my quiz. Must look over old notes. Must do well. I MUST! :D
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| It only took five seconds?! FIVE SECONDS?! |
[Tuesday, Oct 9th, 2007 @ 10:50am] |
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mood |
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scared |
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I have a test today in Computer Forensics. Its the first one of the semester. Bleh on professors that do this. Anyhoooo.
I'm sitting in the computer lab in the Business Building working on studying. I needed a break. Checked my shit, now I'm back to studying. Wish me luck, please?
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| *some random song from Kiss FM is stuck in my head* |
[Monday, Oct 8th, 2007 @ 8:12am] |
Friday I worked 11am - 430pm. We didn't do anything Friday night, I think I played WOW and worked on packing the bedroom some.
Saturday I worked from 1pm - 4pm. That sucked. I know now that things at Auntie Anne's has changed, just a few certain people actually are acting the way people did back in the day. >.< We didn't do anything Saturday night, either. I know I played WOW, caught the new Blood+ and Bleach, and worked on the room a little.
Yesterday (Sunday), Eric and I just lazed around the house. Played on our separate computers, watched some Mythbusters, played on the computer some more, ate with Acea and Michael at Dragon and Phoenix, played on our computers again, and then watched [adultswim]. Nothing exciting, I promise. I should have worked on my Technical Writing assignments that are due today, but I just really didn't feel like it. :( I know, not cool.
Today I have Applied Statistics, then I'm going home to work on Technical Writing and studying for my Computer Forensic test I have tomorrow afternoon. Then I have work from 3-7. After work I continue where I left off with my studies and have to remember to call the owner of the house. Must remember to call him. Heh.
I've made a big decision concerning my life Saturday night, I hope I can do it. More later when I have all the details. XD Lets cross our fingers, shall we?
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| Everything rolls downhill... and right on top of my head. |
[Friday, Oct 5th, 2007 @ 8:30am] |
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mood |
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 defeated |
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Wednesday evening, Eric and I went out to Brookland and talked with the owner of the house we're looking at. It was perfect, an older home, but I would be comfortable there. And honestly, that's all that matters right now.
On our way back, we decided to stop at my Dad's to see if we could get a free dinner. *gigglesnort* We watched Pushing Daisies, Private Practice, and another show that came on after that. Right before PD came on, I decided to finally ask my father if he really had AIDS. You know, its been almost two years since I found out, WHY NOT?!
"Dad, do you have AIDS?" - Me.
"*bewildered look* No, why?" - Dad.
"*even more bewildered look*... ... ... Because Mom told me you did." - Me.
"No, I don't." - Dad.
*starts sobbing and talking incoherently* - Me.
Honestly people, WHO IN THE HELL DOES THAT TO A PERSON?! HOW CAN A MOTHER DO THAT TO HER CHILD -- LIE TO HER LIKE THAT?! I just don't understand how my Mother could do that, make up such a horrible lie just because she's mad at him?! Needless to say, after we finally get moved, I will have NOTHING to do with my mother for a LONG time.
I told Drew last night she was going to have to become Christian before I started trusting her again. Because right now I'd like to crucify her right now. But Drew reminded me that if it comes to that, that I only do it because of the lie, not because of any other thing that's bothering me right now... like getting kicked out. I told him that the being kicked out was astronomically smaller than the lie. And yet the lie was really small itself. Just an off-hand comment almost two years ago. *fumes*
I just don't understand. Don't fucking understand.
Hasn't my life been fucked up enough already? Why must I keep getting shit on?
I asked Kat yesterday at work: "I'm a good kid right?" To which she replied, "Yeah, of course."
"Then why does bad stuff keep happening to me?" She shrugged her shoulders.
Don't get me wrong, you can't understand how happy I am that my father is fine... just getting old. But I don't know how much more I can handle...
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| Old memories really suck sometimes. |
[Wednesday, Oct 3rd, 2007 @ 8:24am] |
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mood |
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apathetic |
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I find myself in the Math Building's computer lab at ASU again. You can read from a couple of years go why this could erk me but oh wellz.
I find that since I've started working at Auntie Anne's, things have been creeping up in my mind. Things, meaning, memories. Mainly from when I worked there before. Getting ignored by the teenagers (or the ones trying to be like teenagers) and only getting along with the managers. *le sigh* And my first day, I called Eric when I got off work. That felt so weird, because before I'd call Jon right before I left the store to let him know I was coming home. Now, this time around, I was calling Eric to tell him I was off work and that I was coming home to him. And the first time he came up there that I was in the back doing dishes, Kat yelled from the front, "Jess, your man is here!" Instinctively, I said, "who??" Because as a flashback, I had a fleeting thought it might have been Jon. LOL. I think I'm going crazy... or maybe! I'm not going crazy at all but have been this way for a while. *laughsnort*
Yesterday I had a hard time staying awake in my Computer Forensics class. So, I made faces at Sam and doodled on my Powerpoint print-outs. I got to work an hour and a half early. I think I freaked out Kat and made Keri happy. (I was relieving Keri at 3.) So, I ate a pretzel, talked a little bit more with Kat about my living situation and then went down to Barnes and Noble in search of the Blood+ manga, but couldn't find any. :( So, since I've started avidly watching it at home, I read the first half of the first Bleach manga. At least now it makes sense. :P
Work sucked. It truly did. I'd much rather be delivering pizzas in Northside than in that store again. But money is money, and I have to remember that Jessica (the other one. >.<) and Kat actually do talk to me as if I'm an adult. (I've changed a lot in the last two and a half years.) Played WOW after work while eating Chinese, I was a happy Jess. And then spent the rest of the time (from Courage the Cowardly Dog to Bleach on Cartoon Network/[adultswim]) folding and putting away laundry and organizing and packing some more.
Now I have Applied Statistics, which I'm sort of understanding.
And more cleaning at home. I don't have to work tonight, but after Eric gets off work, we're heading out to Brookland to see a man about a house. XD
I would love to have this... so bad. XDXDXD
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| *yawn* I'd rather be sleeping. |
[Tuesday, Oct 2nd, 2007 @ 11:34am] |
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mood |
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 pissy |
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Well, then. Now that I'm here, I might as well post a little bit of things that are happening around here.
1) I'm working at Auntie Anne's again. I was hoping never to go back, but things are great there. (Never thought I'd say that... hmmm.) New manager, new people, things are looking up. But unfortunately, I still smell like pretzels after work. Bleh. I started September 20th. Its weird... somehow I KNEW I'd get called into work before I actually started working. Heh.
2) My mage is at 51!! And I joined a really awesome guild (Unite and Conquer). My GM is a lvl 70 fire mage. Its makes me happy that if I have any questions about my class or spec, I can ask him. HEH! Unfortunately, I hate terribly to have left my old guild (section EIGHT) only because I started out there, but nothing ever happens. Oh wells.
3) My loving, caring, humble mother kicked us out of our house last week. No shit. She's become an alcoholic (again) and she's having money problems (I wonder why...) so she's refusing to pay the morgage, and leaving it up to us. (Its not that much, like 200 a month, but when one has other bills and a bank account that's in the red constantly, you can't even make a small payment like that.) So, last Friday after I got off work, she came over and asked me to sit outside with her while she had a smoke. She sat down, looked me in the eye and said, "You have until November 1st, I want you guys out." I could have gotten up from my seat and slapped her if I didn't think she'd move the date up. *grr* I asked her why she hadn't been paying the morgage because Gramma gets 2000 dollars at the beginning of every month (if not more), and she told me, "my financial situation is of no concern to you." I replied with a hearty, "bullshit it doesn't! If you're asking me to leave my home because you "can't" pay the morgage, then that's definitely my concern." We went back and forth for a few minutes before I shut my mouth, afraid I was going to say something I couldn't take back. She left shortly after that I proceeded to cry and throw random things around the carport. Of course, when Eric found out, he punched a few walls. So, yeah. This situation sucks.
4) In the same afternoon of being asked to leave, we found a small, two bedroom house in Brookland that we went and looked at on Saturday after the two of us got off work. Its small, and it doesn't have CH/A, but we'll manage. After walking around that house for a while, I felt more at home there than I did in the house I've been living in for over a year and a half. I like it, Eric kind of likes it, and his Mom likes it. We're going to look at it with the owner tomorrow evening after Eric gets off work. Hopefully things will go our way. (I could use a little sunshine through these thick, black clouds.)
5) School is going alright, I suppose. Nothing terribly interesting. I need to do a little more studying and a little less Warcraft, but that's expected. Heh!
I have about 45 minutes before my Computer Forensics class, so I'm going to dick around on the interwebs for a while longer. Then work at 3, which I get off at 7, then home to find something for dinner and pack somemore. Oh yeah, and I have laundry to put away. XD
You children have fun. :)
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| *beepbeep* |
[Thursday, Sep 13th, 2007 @ 9:21pm] |
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mood |
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 intoxicated |
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music |
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AC in the background -- I can't wait for it to get COLD! |
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H'lo all. I'm currently sitting at Michael's house (one of a couple of members of our car club) playing on his interwebs. I would be on my laptop playing WOW, but unfortunately Eric has stolen the laptop. :(
Today has been a little anti-climatic.
Had school. Enjoyed my lesson of flies in Forensic Entomology.
Came home for about two hours. Took a shower. Played a little WOW. Got literally chased from one end of the continent to another by a horde. (Not cool, btw.)
Went to my Computer Forensics class where I learned about operating systems and how to looking for different hacker's loves with IP addresses.
Went and ate lunch with Joey and Eric.
Came to Walnut Ridge where I have been since about 430 this afternoon.
I played online all afternoon.
And now I'm having a drink (whiskey and diet pepsi) and updating my journal.
See? Anti-climatic.
Besides today, nothing really ever goes on in my life. Well, that's not true. Something happens nearly everyday. But that's general bullshit and not worthy of remembering down the road. Mostly I play WOW, I clean/keep house, I do homework, I go to class, spend time with Eric, make sure the house doesn't blow up or get torn down from Joey and Eric's antics, and sleep. Nothing truely interesting, but you don't understand how much I love not having drama or bullshit to deal with. Occasionally something happens with Caleb, but that's easily dealt with and we go on with our lives. And that's a nice feeling.
Just a few things about WOW, and if you want, you can stop reading here.
I have three toons. (for any of those that do play WOW, I play on the server: Nathrezim!)
Elinora -- level 45 human fire mage -- she's awesome. I play her whenever and usually with my guild.
RayAnn -- level 21 human holy priestess -- she's getting there. The controls are a little weird switching from DPS to healing, but I think I can deal with it. She's much better than the two hunters I tried to raise, but that's because I got tired of having to deal with my pets. Err, yeah. And I usually only play her with my level 20 human warrior friend. We're questing/leveling together. I've also learned that a perfect couple is a warrior and a priest. Well, atleast, in my opinion.
Myiasis -- level 4 human rogue -- she's only getting leveled when Stacy's able to come over and play. Stacy's made a human pally. I'm kind of excited because while pally's usually piss me off, I've always been rather interested in them. So, its a catch 22 with me, but alteast I'm not the one playing her. Heh. Not sure which spec I wanna go with her, but oh well. I'm just having fun trying out a new class.
That's about all I have to say about the (un)exciting world of Jess.
But stay tuned, I might update with something of interest! LOL!
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| Yesterday. |
[Wednesday, Aug 29th, 2007 @ 7:15am] |
Yesterday was Tuesday.
I had Forensic Entomology and Forensic Computing.
Played WOW when I got home.
Did a little bit of studying.
Hung out with Lauren; apparently she's running off to Oregon today. :(
And now its Wednesday.
I'm waiting impatiently for Applied Statistics to start. Not because I'm excited about the class, but because I can't wait to get back home.
Lots to do.
Lots to do.
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| WOW. (And not the game.) |
[Monday, Aug 27th, 2007 @ 8:17am] |
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mood |
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 wanting to doze off |
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music |
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copier number TWO |
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I have survived my first week back at ASU and decided, after a long deliberation, that coming back this week and the following weeks until the semester is over with will be a grand idea!
Monday/Wednesday/Friday: Applied Statistics 9-10am
Tuesday/Thursday: Forensic Entomology 8-915am; Forensic Computing 1230-145pm
and an online Technical Writing class.
(See why its not going to be a problem to survive this semester?)
I'm dicking around in the library right now because I got to school early.
Eric got a new job at the Honda Dealership on South Caraway. Its his "grown-up job." By that, I mean, he has to be at work everyday at 8am and gets off at 5pm. Its nice. Except for those of us *coughcough* that are night owls. BUT! I do get to class on time. So, I guess there are always silver linings. XD
Just so you know.
( Warcraft stuff. )
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queenofcretins's journal